Reporting from my room, drinking tea with honey, munching on sunflower seeds and watching a Russian music concourse, feeling content about my Moldovan life.
You wanna know something great? In my room I have my own TV where the satellite is hooked up to, but I have to watch whatever my host family have it tuned to on their big TV in their room. So here I am watching Russian TV, the channel and volume changes on it's own. It's so awesome! I don't have to find my remote when the annoying ads come on.
I think even amongst all the abnormally different environment I find myself in these days, I finally see how normal I feel within it all. If it's as little as trusting that my email will get a response from a loved one and knowing that I will undoubtedly get a text in response or as big as finally getting to successfully complete a work related goal, there is no longer a hectic feeling of being outside of my skin.
I've established a routine, there is no longer that feeling of boredom, I have given myself a list of options whenever those thoughts come along. It goes something like this:
If Eden is bored here is what she can do?
1. Taebo or Yoga
3.Read a book
4.Listen to music and write in her "Free It" notepad
5.Watch a movie or shows
6.Talk to host parents
7.If it's nice out: Take a walk even if it's to the store to buy fruit
8.Visit Olga and Liliana
9.Text loved ones from home
10. Visit Gigi
It's hilarious how OK I am with the pace of life here. It's okay if what I get accomplished in a day is to have Internet function correctly at work to be able to send an email to plan a youth seminar for the High School children. This task, the me, a year ago would never ever think of as a big accomplishment for the day, but here, you have to understand what a miracle it is just to have the Internet function and have communications be in accord with different people. That, today was my biggest accomplishment! I've come to terms with it. I believe that is the explanation, the reason, the very foundation of why I feel so normal. Comfortable. Situated.
Another thing I've also come to terms with is the fact that right now, my work can't exactly proceed, if I don't want to venture into the dark pools of Moldovan politics. Having my mayor running for office and having a village that is divided among different parties, I finally understand why certain people aren't exactly jumping on the wagon to have projects running. Those who are not supportive of my Mayor's particular party do not want any major improvements brought upon under my Mayor's term as Mayor and as a candidate for Parliament. This would be something that would help out his candidacy. That would be the reason why he's not at the office, and also why I have nothing going on. I understand that, and I have come to terms with it. I just wish that Peace Corps would have warned me about this, I would have perhaps been a little bit more settled with this circumstance earlier.
Tomorrow, I have another English Club meeting with the 12th graders. I am going to have them divide into groups, give them a list of vocabulary, and have them pick out two strange items I've found around my house and come up with a skit involving the list of vocabulary and items. It'll be fun! I hope they'll think so too. Before this, we were mostly in a circle with mainly me speaking in English, answering their questions and then harassing them with questions. I think this way, everyone will have more fun and get to contribute their creativity into learning English.
After a year, I can finally say that I absolutely and completely feel safe in my own skin in Moldova. I do not live inside of my head, constantly beggaring myself with "Why am I here?" questions. I've settled. Situated. Simply living with what I have.